This post is admittedly for folks new to the GOP candidates. If you follow this stuff daily, like I do, you might not learn anything new. Hopefully, you will get a couple of laughs or see something you’ve forgotten. For those who are new, you will be introduced to characters that are more amazing than anyone you’ve seen on a reality show. They are possibly crazier than Charlie Sheen. The only difference, and it’s a minor one, is that one might become president. Strap in.
I mentioned last week that the Republican Presidential Debate is my favorite show on TV. I’ve mentioned there are 8 candidates. The debate is some weird cross between a “Meet the Press” and Survivor. And, because of the fringes of their party, the 8 of them have to out-crazy one another in these debates. It’s a contest to see who can claim to lower taxes the most, who can hate Obama more, who can go to war the most (except Ron Paul), and so on. It makes for train wreck TV. You’ll constantly ask yourself, “How can any of these people be so close to our highest office?” With all that being said, here are the first two candidates (in alphabetical order) of the full preview. And, you’ll see shortly, that I don’t even have to really make jokes about this group. Please, please, please check the links, my statements are not embellished in any way. Their existence is the joke.
Michele Bachmann:
- Congresswoman from the 6th District of Minnesota. She’s an Evangelical Christian and I don’t think she’s faking it for votes. In the GOP Economic Debate, she referenced the “mark of the beast (666)” to describe Herman Cain’s economic plan. Herman Cain’s economic plan is called the “9-9-9 plan”. It consists of a 9% sales, income, and corporate tax. Bachmann played on that for her devil reference. As always, politicians should stay away from jokes and/or sarcasm. The 9-9-9 plan will be explained shortly. She also said on national television, that she thought the HPV vaccine caused mental retardation. People who actually study this stuff, the Center for Disease Control, said the vaccine is just fine.
- She claimed President Obama has a “gangster government”
at least twice publicly and never really explained what she meant. For
some reason, her supporters love her. They even alter Wikipedia pages, to make her “facts” look correct. She wanted to investigate members of Congress for “Anti-American behavior.” Because it was a pressing problem, in March of this year, she introduced the “Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act“. Unemployment was around 9% (ugh, again with the # “9″)
at this time. But, she needed to make sure we can still get the
inefficient light bulbs that were going out of circulation. Of course,
this bill did not pass. And, her husband, Marcus Bachmann ran a clinic
where he offered patients the chance at “reparative therapy” or as it is
now short-handed in the press, “pray away the gay” services.
Now take a look at Marcus Bachmann, what is your first reaction? Now,
“Amorphous Thoughts” is a tolerant blog. All are welcome, except
repressed hypocrites (looking at you Marcus). And, Michele tends to get
the crazy eyes in pictures. Look up at those two, now imagine a world
with her as president and Marcus as First Man. Before we look at Herman
Cain, think again about these two in the White House. Think about her
dealing with complex, delicate foreign policy….Can you see it in your
head? Did you stop reading this to make sure your voter registration is
up to date?Herman Cain:
- Former CEO of Godfather’s Pizza (not a joke) and as of posting, he is tops in the Republican polls. I have a theory on this after the preview. When he was in the restaurant business he lobbied to eliminate the minimum wage, figuring it would save him some cash on labor costs. Because pizza makers and waiters/waitresses are raking in the big bucks.
During the debate, you might hear him mention the “Chilean model” in
reference to privatizing things (mainly education and Social Security)
in the US. He will talk about it like it’s a great thing, but it ripped
Chile apart in the early 70s. It is explained succinctly here. What happened in Chile is a little heavy for this posting. But, long story short, the US backed a military coup (happened on a September 11 as well, 1973)
to get rid of their leader, and put in a guy the US wanted. His name
was Augusto Pinochet. He brutally beat down any dissent with torture and
killing. Afterward, he basically privatized everything. There was
hyper-inflation, high unemployment, and loads of poverty. So, keep that
in mind, if you hear “Chilean Model” on Thursday. It takes forever to
recover from these measures. Their students were still fighting and
protesting just a week ago for cheaper education.Onto the 9-9-9 plan, like I said earlier, this is an across the board tax of 9% percent on everything (sales, income, and corporate tax). But, according to economists, it proportionately benefits the rich. Right now 49.5% of people don’t pay income tax, because their incomes are so low. So, you take 9% from someone whose already classified as poor? Going further, Politifact determines that this plan will take in 360 billion less in revenue, than the government currently receives. And, again, no joke needed, he may have gotten the idea from the “Sim City” video game. I don’t think I have the vocabulary to truly explain how stupid these people are.
Cain also tells people to not blame Wall Street for the country’s ills, but to blame yourself. And, he is the owner of the cheesy-ist video of this campaign season. I don’t ask much of you. But, please watch this one. The chorus is, “Get on Board, the Herman Cain train!”
We’ll finish with my theory on why he’s doing so well in the polls. I have no proof of this, it’s just a hunch. But, people on the far right were very tough on Obama at the start of his presidency. They were just overtly racist. I linked to Bachmann’s “gangster government” comments. People came to Washington, during the Health Care debates with pictures of Obama as a witch doctor. I mean, it was just awful stuff that I don’t even want to post here. So, they were rightfully branded with the label of “racist.” So, I think they back Cain so strongly, so they always come back and say, “See, we’re not racist, we support Herman Cain!” There is a strange guilt/alibi thing going on here. I almost sure, just give me a little more time on this one.
That will do it for today, see you next time,
James
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