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| This Guy Passes For "Good Music" In Germany |
I have spent this Christmas and New Year in Germany with my wife and in-laws. We were lucky enough to be in Berlin for the New Year's Eve festivities. Together, we braved the cold and stayed outside for about 6 hours waiting to ring in 2012. But, that is not really the point of this hub. During my time here (and especially in Berlin), I've noticed a few instances of America's influence on the world and where we are still sorely needed.
While on vacation, I have not kept as sharp an eye on the news as I usually do. However, I did notice that in the last few days, the US had a 3.5 billion dollar arms sale to the United Arab Emirates (UAE). Those who followed the Arab Spring closely will know that the US shipped tear gas to Egypt. This tear gas was eventually used against protesters in Tahrir Square. If you follow world health and food issues, you would also know that Far East countries are experiencing large jumps in cases of diabetes. This has been attributed to the adoption of the Western diet. US diplomats even push dodgy, genetically modified foods (via diplomatic relations) onto other nations, for companies like Monsanto and DuPont.
While waiting to celebrate 2012 the other night, I even noticed that "Weight Watchers" had a large presence at the event. Their ads lined most of the area where people congregated. They sponsored/featured in their ads, a performer from the evening (Cassandra Steen). So, in the 6 hours standing in place, I feel as though I saw this ad about 1,000 times. You can see Cassandra Steen's performance from that night (below). But, tying this altogether, I came to the conclusion that the US's main exports are: war, obesity, Franken-foods, and obesity remedies. I thought the world didn't really need us. We screw up a lot of stuff for other nations. But, as 2011 ended, I realized one other export and it is where the world does truly need us. The US must remain as a global force, solely for our.......pop stars!!
Other than that, I feel as though the world would be better off without us. We have multiple wars and occupations going on. We're supplying the weapons for brutal crackdowns elsewhere. We can't get any tough laws regulating our banks or Wall Street as a whole. The list goes on. The US even stood in the way of a binding deal at a recent climate conference (COP 17). I wrote a post that talked about this conference, you can see it here if you wanted to know more about US obstruction on climate talks. But, some on the ground were calling the President, "George W. Obama." Because, his stance differed little from the past Administration.
Back to New Years Eve, needless to say, I was a bit underwhelmed by some of the popular acts here in Germany. The gentleman in the first picture, goes by the name of DJ Oetzi. His real name is Gerhard Friedle and he was born in Austria. According to my wife, the goofy white hat is a staple of his. Take 30 seconds to view a part of his New Years Eve performance and you'll see why the world still needs us. With all the acts, on the night, I felt as though I was watching a play, people acting how they thought pop stars would act. None of the acts seemed really genuine. It's that same feeling you get if you turn on Fox News. That, "...wait a minute, something isn't right here..." feeling. All of them seemed rigid and just pathetic on the whole. I'm not the biggest fan of today's pop music, but watching a rotund Austrian fella labor around the stage, made me long for the stage presence of Lady Gaga, Beyonce, or Katy Perry.
During the evening, the crowd also suffered through a performance from a man named Ben Jaimen. This guy was the most emotionless, plastic figure I may have ever seen on stage. Again, it looked as though he was playing the part of a pop star (but badly). With each song he performed, the crowd seemingly became more indifferent towards him. You can see one of the songs and the crowd's apathetic reaction. There was a rotating sign next to the stage, at points, that mentioned his album was on sale in stores. I joked that him being there was only hurting his sales. For his last song, he brought a number of children on stage (for a choir-type effect) and that could not even get a rise out of the crowd. After another round of hapless applause, he desperately says, "One more time...for the kids..." That didn't even help. For anyone who has seen "Coming to America", it was reminiscent of Sexual Chocolate dropping the mike and leaving the stage, only if hundreds of thousands of people were being quiet at the same time.
Last one, I promise. These guys have a special place in my heart. I reserve this place in my heart for extra dislike. They are called "The BossHoss." The band is originally from Berlin and are amazingly popular in Germany. From what I've worked out, they only cover popular songs, but in a Country/Western sound. So, I guess they save money by not having to hire songwriters. You can hear their version of "Hey Ya" from Outkast, if you're interested. I could not find their NYE performance. They've carved out this special niche where they are just a glorified cover band. But, they cover the songs in a singular sound. Maybe it's a goof on Country/Western bands from the States? Who the hell knows? You have a group of guys from Berlin in Stetsons and wife-beaters. You try to figure it out.
What can I say? It's confusing for my American brain. I have to say. I do love Germany. It's a dream place to live for a liberal like myself. Their citizens accept climate change, a good chunk of ours do not. All of their citizens have health care and have had in since 1883. They have high speed rail. Our trip from west Germany (near Hamburg) to Berlin only took 3.5 hours, and that was with 2 transfers.
On the way back, it took right around 3 hours flat.
Through progressive taxation, strong unions, and amazing social services, Germany is among the world's most equal countries. CEO pay vs average worker pay is only 12 to 1 in Germany. It is 475 to 1 in the USA, I can go on and on about the services here. I haven't even touched on the low cost of education or generous maternity leave. In their current Parliament, there are 6 parties holding seats, giving voters an actual choice when voting. (I think we just have the illusion of choice in the US...story for another day) But, with all that being said, the one glaring hole in Germany's CV is in the area of pop-stars. How can a country, that has figured out health care in the 1880's, be listening to a portly Austrian bring in a new year? Questions like this boggle my little mind and it's why we still need America. USA! USA! USA!
See you next time,
James
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